Is Marriage for You? The Do’s and Don’ts of Saying I Do

Let’s be honest, there should be no messing around when it comes to marriage proposals and this is simply not the time for taking a chance or making decisions based on a gut feeling.

But what if you feel uncertain or unsure about a proposal?

Well, It’s perfectly normal and acceptable to feel undecided about such a big decision. In fact, feeling this way can be a benefit or blessing in a sense that it gives way to reasoning as to whether marriage is something you actually want.

 

Marriage blog
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Now, aside from whether they make you happy or make you a better person, let’s take a look at some key factors to consider when it comes to saying “I do”:

5 Things to Consider Before Saying “I Do”

1. Do Find Out if Marriage is Something You Both Want

We can all get carried away from time to time and for most people, it’s common to think that they want something without visualising whether it’s right for them. In other words, have you discussed the prospect of marriage with your partner?

You know, uncertainty is one of the main reasons that make people feel uneasy about saying “I do” but talking about marriage in advance of a proposal can certainly relieve this pressure. In fact, talking about what married life might look like can be hugely beneficial and even eye-opening.

For example, some people are accustomed to a certain lifestyle and sense of freedom but after they get married, it can come as a shock that they “need” to change certain aspects of this lifestyle. 

Having open and understanding discussions around the intricacies of married life might seem over the top but the truth is, this communication can help you both decide if it’s something you even want at this time in your lives. 

2. Don’t Commit Further to an Insecure Relationship

As you know, life moves at an incredible pace and as circumstances or events take place, people will also change accordingly. With this in mind, you need to know that the relationship is already secure enough to withstand and cope with these inevitable changes. 

Now, that’s not to say you need to put up with inappropriate behaviour but rather that it’s important you feel completely safe and secure in the relationship before saying “I do”.

But what does a secure relationship look like?

Well, in a secure relationship, there are no questions around the commitment of your partner. They support and encourage you at all times and regardless of problems that might exist, they never leave or threaten to leave the relationship.

3. Do Realise that Marriage is Not for Everyone

Another common oversight is when partners assume that their loved one has an interest in marriage itself. Now, this has nothing to do with commitment but rather that some people do not respect what marriage stands for or the binding nature of this agreement.

Are you one of these people? Is this your partner?

Simply put, marriage is not for everyone and to be honest, it changes very little for most couples. 

For this reason, do remember that you don’t have to get married and it’s perfectly okay to keep the relationship exactly as it is in this moment – if that’s what you both want.

4. Don’t Underestimate the Importance of Financial Security

Aside from emotional security, finance is incredibly important to the future of a relationship. Yes, love is blind and money is not everything but in all honesty, financial stability is a critical foundation that needs to be in place before the added expense or pressure of getting married. 

In fact, the last thing any relationship should want is the added stress of money and the burden that can come with poor financial habits.

For this reason, you should always consider and discuss financial security before saying “I do”. In spite of what most people might think, with the right loving tone and throughout approach, this should be a calm and insightful conversation to have with a partner.  

 

5. Do Ask Yourself Honestly: Can You Live Without Them?

As already mentioned, you need to know that your partner makes you happy and encourages you to be a better person.

But can you live without this person?

It’s such a tough and sometimes emotional or cutting question to ask yourself. However, this is one of the most practical and realistic ways to know if saying “I do” is the right answer to the all-important question.

You see, many couples court for years and years and can end up feeling obliged to get married. More specifically, some couples become best friends in the process and fail to realise that being best friends does not necessarily mean that marriage is the right next step.

In other words, you care about this person and they care about you but can you bare to think what life would be like without them as your spouse?

It’s a harsh and brutal reality for some but knowing the answer to this question can sometimes leave you with no doubt when it comes to saying “I do”.

In summary, communication is not just the foundation for a solid relationship but also necessary to make sure that saying “I do” is the right answer, at this time in your life. Either way, you both love each other and this is more than enough reason to start a discussion that you may have been avoiding for a very long time.

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